Progress

I think we (and by that I mean one of my friends) has found a home for Murph! I get to pick him up this morning, and while it's going to be torture to leave him 2 more times, it's also going to be wonderful to be able to see him two more times! Today I'm taking him to my friend's sisters place in Seattle. She's going to take care of him for a bit until I can get him over to Ellensburg where we're hoping and older retired couple who live on a farm will fall in love with him. If he can't be with me, I think this is a great alternative for him. He LOVES to be outside and chase things. :) The pass to get to the eastside has been bare and dry for such a long time, but of course today it's supposed to get 6-12". So... hopefully we can get him over there next weekend and he can start the next leg of this journey.

I keep telling myself that there MUST be a reason for all of this. Maybe there's another family who will really need him. Or maybe, just maybe, there could be another little stink joining our family this year and that just might be more than my poor sweet boy can bare. I'm trying very hard to have faith that there's a greater reason for all of this.

Ok, off to see my baby boy!

PS - have you ever had a song come on and at that moment you felt it was just for you? On my way home from running errands I was trying to find my CD with a song covered by Dave Matthews ("Woke up this morning, smiled at the risin sun. Three little birds, on my doorstep. Singing a sweet song, melody pure and true, singing this is a message for you. Don't worry bout a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright") I didn't find it, but last night I turned the TV to a kids station and it had been on for a while but we weren't paying attention to it. All of the sudden, that song was on. Of course - I started crying! I've been doing entirely too much of that lately. It needs to STOP!

Complete Misery

That's what the last 24 hours have been. Stella had been chasing Murphy around the house (which she loves to do and he hates) and he turned and nipped her. We took her to the Dr. to get it cleaned and got her on antibiotics. We were VERY lucky that it wasn't worse than it was.

But... this means we had to get rid of my dog. My first BABY. I know there aren't a lot of people who love their animals as passionately as I do, but I do. I adored that dog and the feeling was mutual. He was MY dog, MY pal. He followed me everywhere. When I was pregnant I had grand ideas of how much he'd love this little girl we were going to bring into the family. That never happened. He never got over the hurt and the jealousy.

So, first thing this morning my husband took him to the Humane Society. He has to stay in solitary confinement for 9 days and then they'll euthenize him. I can't breathe, I can't talk, I can't do anything but SOB. Yes, I know we had to do it but my heart is completely breaking. We have 8 days to find someone willing to take in a 9 1/2 year old dog who doesn't like other dogs and has nipped a young child. Doesn't sound too likely to me. I just keep thinking of how cold, lonely, confused, and scared he must be. I walk out of the bathroom and expect to see him laying by the door, I open the garage door and step back to let him come charging in, there are presents wrapped and waiting for him. I don't know what to do with all of this and I just can't stop crying.

I wish someone who's lonely could look past all of that and see the dog that I know and love so very much. He'd love nothing more than to have someone throw the ball for him, maybe go for a walk, and then snuggle on the couch. He isn't sick, he isn't old, and he isn't mean, this is just so unfair to everyone involved, but mostly my baby boy.

I pray that he can find some peace there and that he knows how in love with him I am. I don't even know how to be in this house without him.

I'm SO SO SO very sorry my baby boy!

Hiding

I'm hiding some old posts (and not writing a few) because my HS kids found out I have a blog and are on the hunt for it. I found it through google on my second search, so they'd find it eventually. So, for a while just pictures of my girl!

Posing by the tree.

Stella's choice!