Complete Misery

That's what the last 24 hours have been. Stella had been chasing Murphy around the house (which she loves to do and he hates) and he turned and nipped her. We took her to the Dr. to get it cleaned and got her on antibiotics. We were VERY lucky that it wasn't worse than it was.

But... this means we had to get rid of my dog. My first BABY. I know there aren't a lot of people who love their animals as passionately as I do, but I do. I adored that dog and the feeling was mutual. He was MY dog, MY pal. He followed me everywhere. When I was pregnant I had grand ideas of how much he'd love this little girl we were going to bring into the family. That never happened. He never got over the hurt and the jealousy.

So, first thing this morning my husband took him to the Humane Society. He has to stay in solitary confinement for 9 days and then they'll euthenize him. I can't breathe, I can't talk, I can't do anything but SOB. Yes, I know we had to do it but my heart is completely breaking. We have 8 days to find someone willing to take in a 9 1/2 year old dog who doesn't like other dogs and has nipped a young child. Doesn't sound too likely to me. I just keep thinking of how cold, lonely, confused, and scared he must be. I walk out of the bathroom and expect to see him laying by the door, I open the garage door and step back to let him come charging in, there are presents wrapped and waiting for him. I don't know what to do with all of this and I just can't stop crying.

I wish someone who's lonely could look past all of that and see the dog that I know and love so very much. He'd love nothing more than to have someone throw the ball for him, maybe go for a walk, and then snuggle on the couch. He isn't sick, he isn't old, and he isn't mean, this is just so unfair to everyone involved, but mostly my baby boy.

I pray that he can find some peace there and that he knows how in love with him I am. I don't even know how to be in this house without him.

I'm SO SO SO very sorry my baby boy!