Gettin lost in my thoughts

I FINALLY finished painting the hallway/staircase/upstairs hallway!  There were TEN doorways and the staircase/handrail to cut in around.  This gave me a LOT of alone time with nothing to do but think.  I thought about the upcoming school year and how the little one will do at the babysitters (she's still not interested in a bottle), I thought about faith and religion (or I guess faith vs. religion), and I thought a LOT about this little family.  I found their blog just days after they lost their little one and I cannot get them off my mind.  Their girls are so close in age to my girls and I keep thinking that I just couldn't survive that, I'm not stronge enough.  Then I quickly yell at myself in my head not so say/think those things because I do NOT want Him to say, "Yes, you can.  Here, let me show you."  I try not to spend too much time thinking about it because then I can't breathe, but like I said, ten doorways with noting to do but think...  If you're a praying sort of person they should could use some sent their way.

Ok, so on to the results of that thinking time.  I'd painted 3 swatches on the walls earlier in the summer and of course we didn't really agree on which color to use.

Jim liked the darkest color but I thought it would make the hallway/stairs feel like a dark tunnel.  I wanted the light.  So... we decided on the middle.  I'd cut in around one doorway with the middle color when he came home and told me it looked like a dirty diaper!  At least that means we got to switch to my color!

Another thing that made it take ages is the texture on our walls.  I couldn't believe it when I found out that in some places peoples walls are completely FLAT.  Painting would go so much more quickly if that were the case for us.  The texture on our walls is so thick/rough that it takes a ton of coats.

  

Before the walls were kind of yellowy off white.  It didn't do anything for our white molding.  Now, they're coffee.  It took a loooong time and 3 coats, but I'm happy with it and so glad it's done in time for Lucy's baptism on Saturday.  It will look even better someday when we redo the wood floors.  I'm thinking dark treads with white faces - yum!  You can tell the color is off a bit in the pictures since the stairs look more orange in the after pic.  It was taken with lights on in the evening so I guess it's not really a true read on the wall color either. There's a bit less yellow in it.

I also decided to tackle our mantel finally.  First there was the issue of the nasty inside.  It's currently not a working fireplace (though we plan to put a gas insert in at some point). 

First I decided to tackle the inside.  The peeps over at Young House Love painted the inside of their fireplace with heat resistant paint and it made a huge difference.  So... I followed in their painty footsteps.  The inside was none too pretty, but it's the perfect background for some cozy candles now.

Here's my "after".  I'm still thinking of putting some faux paneling over the brick INSIDE the mantel.  I like it better now, but I kind of feel like it's a lot of floating white in a sea of brick.  We'll see...

You can't really tell in any of these pictures, but our walls are a pale blue.  Much too pale for Jim's taste (remember he always goes for the dark/intense colors).  I like how the accents on the mantel pick up on the blues now.  Just a can of spraypaint for some plain ole candle holders!



I need/want to do some family updates too since my favorite thing about this blog is going back and reading about our changing family but Lucy is up from her nap (at 6:10 and she's supposed to go to bed at 7:30 oops!)

I'm a little stressed, a little panicky, and a whole lot BLESSED!

Summer is winding down, I've heard rumors that the leaves are turning, and we're watching the first football game of the year.  That means school is approaching.  I love the excitement of the beginning of school but that also means I have to leave my babies.  It's always difficult for me to leave but it's tougher this year with a new little one that I've only been away from for about 8 hours total of her 4 1/2 month life.  BRUTAL!

In addition to missing them terribly I keep wondering how I'll find time to get everything done while still having time to spend with my girls.  How can I possibly clean, shop, cook, get projects done and maybe even a few crafts for myself while getting enough snuggling time in.  However, as I'm gearing up to complain about how terrible this all is for me I realize:

I'm so blessed to have a job that I love that allows us to do the things we want to do, live in the house we have, and put money away for these darlings for school.  In this economy not everybody can say that and as a Mama I can't think of a job I'd rather have.  I'm able to be home with them half of the time, I get done at 3:00 each day, and when they start school I'll be on the same schedule as them.  As much as I miss them I do believe it's the best thing for our family.

I'm so blessed to have to clean a house that we love in a neighborhood we never thought we'd be able to live in (we're SO SO SO happy to be out of a development and out of the crazy traffic and graffiti ridden area we were in previously).

I'm so blessed to have a FAMILY for my girls to spend their days with.  There are 3 other girls within a few months of Stella and she absolutely loves the family of the woman who watches her.  We don't consider it "day-care".  They have become part of our family and Stella has experienced and learned so much more than she would have if she'd just been with me for all of this time.  As much as I miss them I actually truly believe that it's a really great thing for them.  I've even continued taking her one day a week throughout the summer because I think it's so good for her developmentally and socially.

I'm blessed to have a husband who puts up with my to-do list and a house to do projects on and improve for our family.  Again, so many people don't have a house they can work on, the means to work on it, or a spouse so supportive and helpful.

I'm blessed to have things that I love to do (knitting, sewing, baking, etc).  I don't have enough time to do any of them, but there are actually people who don't really have any hobbies.

I'm blessed to not be able to get a good nights sleep because of two incredible girls.

I'm blessed to not have enough time for all that I love because that just means that there is SO much!  There were days I had plenty of time for all I wanted to do and I can say that I'm so much happier now.  I can't imagine coming home from work each day and having nothing to do other than clean/craft/nap.  (Although I can tell you I'd really love a good long nap!)  Back then I LONGED for a house filled with little ones and the mess that comes along with them.  The way my heart aches by missing them is so much preferable to the ache of not having them.

I have a family that I'm head over heals in love with and we're all healthy.  Seriously, the thought that I spend a second being down is pretty ridiculous.  So, I'm doing my best not to let the anxiety get the better of me.  We're trying to come up with ways to make more time.  I'm looking into freezer meals and an extra freezer, I'd love to get a cleaner (I have no idea how much that would cost though), and we'll have to get better about getting things ready at night so I can spend my time with my girls.

My happy little 4 1/2 month old:  I can't believe this is the girl who Jim once said about, "Is she trying to be the least pleasant baby ever born?"  We actually thought maybe she had food allergies or something.  How that has changed!  She's rolling over, eating cereal (and not liking it), laughing all of the time, loves her big sister, gives us the BIGGEST grins when we get her up and unwrap the swaddle, and is currently hanging out in her bouncer we put together today.  She's also figure out if she sticks her left leg out straight and kicks it she can make herself bounce in her chair.  The dog has become another source of giggles.  He bites her toes and she thinks it's hilarious.

Stella continues to be my pal and the best big sister we could ever ask for.  She loves to play with Lucy and tries constantly to maker her laugh.  When I took them to get Lucy's 4 month check up Lucy started crying when she was given some oral medication and Stella told the nurse, "don't make my baby cry."  I'm hoping they'll always be crazy for each other and one anothers biggest support/protectors.  She's smart, funny, helpful, and above all my little buddy.  I'm still in shock we haven't had an ounce of jealousy, what a trooper!  I have some hilarious pictures from a "photo shoot" she and I had.  I need to get them posted before she starts school.  ;)

So much to blog, so little time

I really do want to blog more, mostly because I LOVE to be able to look back months/years from now and see what was going on with my girls.  I just seem to be so far behind.  I've JUST loaded pics from the past three weeks, we've done a ton of projects I could write about, I'm behind on emailing people pictures of our adventures, and school starts in just a couple of weeks.

The girls and I spent 2 1/2 hours doing the grocery shopping today (it included a trip to Costco...)  I just kept thinking that once school starts I'll have to use precious weekend time to do that.  I've been pretty sad about it lately.  I'm going to miss them SO much!