Sunday, October 24, 2010

So very very wrong

We went for our ultrasound Friday morning. (After a VERY rough Thursday night in which Jim and our puppy got attacked by a dog in our driveway. It's a long terrifying story and the dog is still limping, but we can't stop thinking how lucky we were that Stella was with them!)

Anyway... obviously, our first concern was for this little one to be healthy. I've been so paranoid this time around. Since I might be 35 when No. 2 is born, we had extra genetic testing where she described all of the markers they look for which could indicate down syndrome and other birth defects. She also showed us the chart in which birth defects skyrocket after age 35. SCARY!

We were CERTAIN that this one was a boy. Jim's aunt (who predicted us getting pregnant with Stella before we did had told us a boy was coming. Sounds like nothing to you I know, but this woman isn't wrong about things.) We've had a boy name picked out that we are in love with since we were pregnant with Stella, and all we thought about was boy things. How to decorate his nursery, what Saturday football games would be like, how it would be boys against girls. Jim already had plans in the making to take him to watch big machinery work. So, I have to admit, we were both shocked (and kind of dissappointed) when he said it was a girl.

Can you believe that I was sad? What a JERK! I told him that a year ago if I had known I would shed tears when we found out it was a girl I would have honestly punched myself in the face! We didn't think No. 2 was going to happen for us. We were on our 8th or 9th (and final) IUI. I had just gotten paperwork in the mail about adoption the week before. I'd prepared myself to deal with the fact that Stella might be an only child, and here I was dissappointed! Honestly, I could not have felt worse about myself.

I know that it's going to be great. I'm thrilled because I know that they'll be great friends when they grow up and I'm sure be closer than a girl/boy would have. Plus, I feel like girls stay closer to their parents when they're adults. At the time however, all I could think of would be the things we would miss. Stella is such my little pal. We do so much together, she likes to cook, craft, shop, etc. I really wanted Jim to experience that. I wanted to look out in the backyard and watch them throwing the football. I also wanted to know what it was like to have a son. So many people say that sons love their moms differently and I wanted to know what that felt like.

I just laugh at people who say, "Well, maybe you'll have to have 3." Um, no. Neither of us are up for any more trips to the Dr. to get preggo!

We're getting used to the idea (it's taking longer for him), and I know that it will be amazing. We quickly found ourselves saying "she" and "her" after 4 1/2 months of referring to it as he. Jim even said I look different to him now. How funny. He's almost acting like I'm more fragile since there's a girl instead of a boy in my belly. Isn't that crazy???

So, more pink, more babies, and more tea parties are on our horizon!


Dana KBS said...


It's so funny--I purposedly DIDN'T find out the gender with #2 because I was afraid I would have the reaction that you're having...but then someone pointed out to me that it might be worse if I was counting on a girl (we had a boy first) and then had another little guy.

A friend of mine, who had a boy first and really wanted a girl, found out the gender on purpose so she could go through the disappointment, if any, before the baby arrived and be totally joyful at his/her birth.

I think it's totally natural to feel your feelings even at the same time you are celebrating your pregnancy and what that represents for your family. Don't beat yourself up... And, who knows, you might get a girl who dislikes cooking and crafting and just wants to be with daddy all day outside raking and playing soccer. :-)

Liz Owen said...

Oh, big congrats! And girl, don't feel bad for that reaction. These pregnancy hormones are a beast. Seriously. These days I feel a bit like Sybil. :)

And that's true. Girls do tend to stick close to their parents... and to each other. My sisters and I are thicker than thick. :)