Tuesday, December 7, 2010

25 week fears

Stella crawled in be with us last night and then I couldn't fall back to sleep. My brain was going crazy about so many things. One of which were some of my fears now that we're 15 weeks away from being a family of four. Recently, someone shared with me the old, "I was worried that I wouldn't be able to love the second as I had the first." I've never had this concern, but my anxiety-ridden self has many other concerns. Here are the top ones at the moment:

1) I'm going to miss both of them. When Stella was born we were able to spend hours just watching her, snuggling her, listening to her, and talking about her. With a 3 year old in the house I'm worried that I won't be able to just enjoy her and get to know her the way we did last time. I'm also afraid I'm going to miss Stella. A little one is going to take up so much of my time. Time that, until now, has been solely dedicated to Stinker. We'll lose a lot of our snuggling time and Jim will be doing more for her I'm sure. I'm terrified that I'm going to miss her!

2) I don't want No. 2 to be the "other" sister who just can't compete. I rolled over last night and told Jim, "I don't want No. 2 to be the '.........' of the family!" You can say it won't happen, but let's face it, we all know those people. Just recently we had two sisters in our classes. The older was DARLING, smart, kind, responsible, funny, involved, etc etc etc. Then there was the second - not so nice, not as smart, not as cute, and so on. She was more althletic, but in the grand scheme of life, how much does that matter??? In my eyes Stella is pretty much the most amazing person I've ever known. She's smart, funny, sweet, and beautiful. I don't want the little one to ever feel like she can't live up to Stella.

3) Lack of sleep! I remember how hard it was for me last time, and Stella already wakes us up many nights, plus I won't be able to take naps. I don't do well with little sleep!

Some of these may be normal, some may be because I'm a worrier by nature. Regardless, they were keeping me up last night, and I'm sure there will be many more that suddenly occur to me over the next 3 1/2 months.


kate said...

yes, it's totally normal. And it's something you'll struggle to work through, but having two girls of my own, I know two things.
1. they are very different
2. I love them the same but different.

I've learned heaps through each of them and needed each of them in my life. Each one has their strengths and each has their weaknesses. it's up to us as mamas to help the rest of the family see them equally. Suprisingly, it hasn't been all that difficult.

Yes, the lack of sleep is super rough, but if you don't become consumed with how much/how little sleep you get, I find that helps. It's the dwelling on it that drives us crazy.

You're going to be a fabulous mama. And you're going to worry and that's okay.

CarleeLovesMINI said...

I wouldn't worry too much about the younger one not living up to Stella...they will both have other interests, strengths, and weaknesses, but will also have many similarities because as I have come to find from having a younger sister, she often wanted to do the same things I did, so we spent a lot of time doing our hobbies and interests together. They will have so much fun together and little number 2 will most definitely look up to Stella as a role model and think she is the best big sister in the world! That's what Allison thinks of me... ;)

mrs shortcake said...

I have the same fears. Now even my SISTER (unmarried, no children) is afraid that she won't be able to have children that can compete with Baby Shortcake! I grew up in a family of three girls, so I understand the urge to classify - I'm the "smart" one, Sister Shortcake is the "artsy" one, Youngest Sister Shortcake is the "strong-willed" one.