Progress

I think we (and by that I mean one of my friends) has found a home for Murph! I get to pick him up this morning, and while it's going to be torture to leave him 2 more times, it's also going to be wonderful to be able to see him two more times! Today I'm taking him to my friend's sisters place in Seattle. She's going to take care of him for a bit until I can get him over to Ellensburg where we're hoping and older retired couple who live on a farm will fall in love with him. If he can't be with me, I think this is a great alternative for him. He LOVES to be outside and chase things. :) The pass to get to the eastside has been bare and dry for such a long time, but of course today it's supposed to get 6-12". So... hopefully we can get him over there next weekend and he can start the next leg of this journey.

I keep telling myself that there MUST be a reason for all of this. Maybe there's another family who will really need him. Or maybe, just maybe, there could be another little stink joining our family this year and that just might be more than my poor sweet boy can bare. I'm trying very hard to have faith that there's a greater reason for all of this.

Ok, off to see my baby boy!

PS - have you ever had a song come on and at that moment you felt it was just for you? On my way home from running errands I was trying to find my CD with a song covered by Dave Matthews ("Woke up this morning, smiled at the risin sun. Three little birds, on my doorstep. Singing a sweet song, melody pure and true, singing this is a message for you. Don't worry bout a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright") I didn't find it, but last night I turned the TV to a kids station and it had been on for a while but we weren't paying attention to it. All of the sudden, that song was on. Of course - I started crying! I've been doing entirely too much of that lately. It needs to STOP!

Complete Misery

That's what the last 24 hours have been. Stella had been chasing Murphy around the house (which she loves to do and he hates) and he turned and nipped her. We took her to the Dr. to get it cleaned and got her on antibiotics. We were VERY lucky that it wasn't worse than it was.

But... this means we had to get rid of my dog. My first BABY. I know there aren't a lot of people who love their animals as passionately as I do, but I do. I adored that dog and the feeling was mutual. He was MY dog, MY pal. He followed me everywhere. When I was pregnant I had grand ideas of how much he'd love this little girl we were going to bring into the family. That never happened. He never got over the hurt and the jealousy.

So, first thing this morning my husband took him to the Humane Society. He has to stay in solitary confinement for 9 days and then they'll euthenize him. I can't breathe, I can't talk, I can't do anything but SOB. Yes, I know we had to do it but my heart is completely breaking. We have 8 days to find someone willing to take in a 9 1/2 year old dog who doesn't like other dogs and has nipped a young child. Doesn't sound too likely to me. I just keep thinking of how cold, lonely, confused, and scared he must be. I walk out of the bathroom and expect to see him laying by the door, I open the garage door and step back to let him come charging in, there are presents wrapped and waiting for him. I don't know what to do with all of this and I just can't stop crying.

I wish someone who's lonely could look past all of that and see the dog that I know and love so very much. He'd love nothing more than to have someone throw the ball for him, maybe go for a walk, and then snuggle on the couch. He isn't sick, he isn't old, and he isn't mean, this is just so unfair to everyone involved, but mostly my baby boy.

I pray that he can find some peace there and that he knows how in love with him I am. I don't even know how to be in this house without him.

I'm SO SO SO very sorry my baby boy!

Hiding

I'm hiding some old posts (and not writing a few) because my HS kids found out I have a blog and are on the hunt for it. I found it through google on my second search, so they'd find it eventually. So, for a while just pictures of my girl!

Posing by the tree.

Stella's choice!

Hours of entertainment.

I can't believe how much fun Stella is getting to be. She changes everyday and it's such a blessing to get to be a part of it! She's having a great day with her Dad today They went for a walk at the park, looked at plants, and watched the big kids play soccer. Right now, they're playing in their fort and telling each other stories. I love listening to them!

Here's a video that's about a month and a half old now, but still provides endless entertainment for Jim and I. (I laugh myself to tears!)

Cereal and frozen pizzas

If we have to eat cereal and frozen pizza for dinner every night because Stella wants me to hold her and snuggle her - so be it! I'm tired of trying to "teach" her that she can play on her own while I fix dinner after school. I told Jim that I'm just going to enjoy it and not worry about what I'm not getting done. He said, "yes, because someday you'd kill for this." He's right - it brings me to tears thinking that there will come a day when I can't hold her! So for now, dinners are going to be pretty pitiful and I'm ok with that. (She does get progressively better throughout the week. Mondays are ROUGH, Tuesdays better, and yesterday she was pretty happy running around for a while.)

How can I resist this face?
♥

My little Hot Tamale!

and my OCD buddy! It will be great when her organizational skills mature and it's helpful!

I wait all year for this!

We've been SO busy - it's tough to post with school and trying to get lots of quality time in with Stella. I really do love fall even if it means going back to school. I love the cool, crisp, foggy mornings, wearing sweaters, and baking. (pumpkin drop cookies are my ABSOLUTE favs although I made chocolate chip for Jim this morning.) Stella's new favorite fall thing is "hot cocoa". Hearing her say it is the cutest thing ever! It's also darling when she says, "thanks Mama" without prompting!

One thing I love about fall that I wait ALL YEAR for is my little pumpkin. I get smallish pumpkins from the store and carve it. I never used to bother with a face, I would just carve random shapes in it. This year I carved a happy little face for Stella. I rub the top with spices (cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg,...) and burn it on my kitchen counter. It's the most amazing smell throughout the entire house. They don't last terribly long, but I have 2 more here waiting when this one gets mushy!

I've been trying to do a little bit of decorating. I saw a blog post about using frosted glass spray-paint and knew it would be perfect for a cabinet in my bathroom but also thought it would be fun to try on other random things around the house. I haven't tried it yet, but on a similar note check out my Ross find! A darling apothecary jar with an "S" already etched in it! I found the pinecones with little pumpkins and gourds in it at Michaels and we had instant fall. I'd still like to do more, but at least I have a little bit of fall going for now.

As for my mood - things are getting better. We're finding our school groove (I still wish I had an extra day or two off a week though!)

Here she is with her "hot" cocoa. Too bad I can't get her to turn away from the movie to face the camera!

One

One week left to:

* snuggle after naps

* go to the park

* watch Yo Gabba Gabba while eating breakfast

* read to her for HOURS on end

* Toddler Gym and swimming at the YMCA

* running errands together while everyone else is at work

* go on field trips

* try to find something nutritious that may also be considered edible for lunch

* hang out in our pjs until 10

* call Daddy at work to check in

* get a lemonberry slush at Sonic

* sew/knit/read/clean during naptime

* sprinkler fun

* movies

* watch my girl talk, play, learn, and grow all day long

* just pal around

* did I mention snuggling after naps? I did? Can you tell that's one of my FAVORITE things?

I've been SO loving being a stay at home mom all summer. I think I'm finally getting the hang of it. I really do enjoy working, I just always have bouts of anxiety before going back after a break. It's so hard to leave her after spending so much time together. I know that I have a GREAT job for a mom. I get to be home with her about 1/2 time if you count weekends/holidays/vacations - still... I miss her.

I know how much she loves all of the kids at Sheri's, and I know how good it is for her. It will be fine. It's always the anticipation that's the worst. I'd better end this before I wind up in full-blown tears!

"Baby baby you're the world to me."

My Loot!

I've been wanting to join a CSA for several years now, I've just never pulled the trigger. They only run from about June - October, you have to drive down to pick up the box, and it seemed pricey. I'd thought about trying to find someone to split with but then you have to coordinate that each week as well.

Last week a friend told me about Terra Organics and suggested I check to see if they deliver (yes, DELIVER) to my house. I didn't get my hopes up - nobody delivers anything except luke warm pizza to my house. I was pleasantly surprised when I was wrong! My interest was peaked and I looked into it further. We decided to have a small box delivered every other week. I'm not sure the 2 1/2 of us could get through more and I wanted to try it out before we got more. Our first delivery was today and I'm thrilled! Check out the fresh, organic produce that was left on my doorstep:

Our first box contained:

* pluots

* blueberries

* corn

* cherry tomatoes

* donut peaches

* cantaloupe

* celery

* green cabbage

* yellow beans

Can you believe that??? I cut up the cantaloupe while Stella was napping so we'd have it for dinner... not quite half of it made it to the table and I must say it was the sweetest/best cantaloupe I've had in as long as I can remember. I can't wait to see what the next box brings!

A couple of other things I really like about them: you can substitute items (although there isn't a lot that I think I'd choose not to get), you can put it on hold if you aren't going to be around or just don't want it for some reason, you can stop at any time (as opposed to buying in for an entire season), it's year-round, and you can add on to your order. And... it's all done online. These people are geniuses!!

She might look like Daddy but she's a lot like Mama! (and what we've been up to)

When I arrange things Jim says I have mild OCD. (I may... how many other people eat colored candy in pairs arranged by color?) When his darling girl lined up all of the cones he was trying to use for soccer he said she's "linear". Funny how the title is different for different people.
After putting them in a line she paired them up carefully around the yard. This took a while and a LOT of concentration - what could be going through that little mind?

And just goofing off...

She now knows where popsicles are kept and goes to the freezer saying "sicle" many times a day.

We made playdough,

met cousins at the wading pool,

practiced guitar with Daddy,

and helped Mama make homemade lemonade.

The girls liked strawberry best, Dad liked blueberry. (We picked blueberries from a local farm that morning - YUM!) I wish you could have seen how beautiful the colors were. I tried to capture it, but this is the best picture I could get.

Look at her DEVOUR that burger... Oh wait, nope it's a Gardenburger. That's my girl!

And totally unrelated, I've been making belts! This one is probably my favorite. Jim got a navy one and an olive one, I got this one, chocolate, charcoal, and olive. I got the webbing and hardware from an Etsy site (I just searched for "belt buckles"). No tools required, just cut the webbing and crimp the ends of the hardware. I think they cost about 5-6 bucks a piece. MUCH better than the price in the stores!

There are only a few weeks left of vacation so I'm trying to enjoy the time with Stella as much as possible. She actually napped on my chest the other day - AH HEAVEN!!!!

I guess she didn't like it

Our girl LOVES music. She dances to all of our stuff, Taylor Swift always makes her smile, and when the kiddy tunes (the obnoxious ones that get stuck in my head for the rest of the day) come on in the car her arms are sure to be waving. We really haven't found much she doesn't like... other than one Beyonce song that was on the Ellen show.

Yesterday, Jim's niece was over trying to escape the heat in her apartment. She was playing his electric guitar trying to figure out Cat Power's version of "Sea of Love". I was holding Stella and when I looked down this is what I saw:

I can only assume she isn't a fan!

Just a few of the reasons

I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a little girl! I'm so thrilled to have a little pal to do things with. At almost 19 months my little lovely loves to help cook, clean, and sew. I'm sure she'd love to do other crafts too if I let her. (Yes, I realize I would have loved a boy, but I'm pretty sure the list would be different.)

I'm not really a girly girl, but it's sure fun to dress her up!

She likes to dress herself up too... She's just now getting big enough to enjoy some quiet cuddling time again. We spent almost an hour that morning with her laying on me. Believe me, I soaked up every second of it!Plus, you can't make nearly as cute of little outfits for boys! I made this dress Sunday and she wore it that night to a family dinner. Sweet Jim says it's his favorite thing I've ever made (any clothes I make for her look SO stinking cute though - that's just what she does!) She's at that age where it's tough to get her to hold still for pics, so here's the best I could do. (She's putting "powder" on Uncle Jeff)

I new I wanted to make a 70's looking dress with this fabric, and I LOVE sewing with the elastic thread. I think I may even use it for a skirt for myself! I know I'll be saving this dress... maybe one day she'll use it for a little one of her own.

There's been so much other fun stuff, but this post is getting out of control. I will leave you with pics of one of our new favorite things... OUTSIDE SHOWERS!!! We hook up a hose to the kitchen sink to get warm water and she takes a shower in the back yard. She LOVES it (and I would too if there weren't neighbors all around!) Plus, I don't have to be up in the bathroom with her taking a bath. It's WAY too hot for that these days.

Not my plan

I'm facing dissappointment this morning head on. I'm trying to have faith that there is a plan even if it's not the plan I would choose. I am beyond content and things will work out the way they are supposed to.

She did it her way

One of my closest friends (and college roomie) got married Sunday. They've been together for more than 9 years and are such a great couple. The setting was beautiful! Hannah is not a "bride" - in fact, she wouldn't even let people use that word. She's not religious, hates "crafts", and the thought of a wedding made her break out in hives I think. However, once she started thinking of the day as a party I think she had a blast. It was kind of Day of the Dead/Rockabilly, perfect for them! Check out their duds. :)

She made all of those tissue paper flowers to hang from the tree (and she says she hates crafting!) What a lovely isle.

The priceless look on her face during her sisters toast.

The most incredible cakes ever! I was SO glad she wasn't the wedding kind of girl while I was eating. I had the chocolate mocha, Jim had the coconut lime. We both said they were the best we've had. I think that all "chicks getting hitched" should get several amazing cakes to choose from rather than one big one. (Some of the older guests at several points during the reception asked her if they could help themselves. Um, I realize it wasn't a traditional wedding, but when have you just gone up and helped yourself to cake before it's cut?!?!)

Hannah and I.

And just for comparison - Hannah and I more than 9 years ago at my traditional wedding. UGH!! At least we can look back and laugh. I look forward to laughing at the one above with you 9 years from now! I'm so happy for both of you!

A. MA. ZING!!!!

I don't know what else to say about the Coldplay concert Saturday. If you haven't been - GO! This is only the second time they've been to the Seattle area, and both times they were simply fantastic. And... if you've never been to a concert at the Gorge Amphitheater - GO! I don't think that there is a more beautiful place to watch/listen to a concert in the entire country. The acoustics are phenomenal and you get to sit and watch the sunset over the Columbia River. These pictures simply do not do it justice. I took them with my phone because I was the only one too chicken to sneak in my little camera. The girls are supposed to email me their pictures so if I get any good ones maybe I'll post those later. This is the view from our "seats". Stage to the left, river straight ahead and all of the way along our right. Check out those sun rays even on a crummy cell phone camera!

I guess I didn't get a good sunset picture. :( This was the best I took (with my finger in it) and believe me, it got MUCH more beautiful than this!

Ah... it begins. We were all giddy. I still don't know what my favorite part was. We all did the cell phone wave when it got dark (I'm not sure the exact # of people, but my friend guessed about 30,000 all doing the wave with the lights on their phones was pretty cool!), the band running half way up the hill to the left and playing an acoustic version of Green Eyes (one of my fav

songs), and then playing

Billie Jean from that same spot, or the entire crowd singing across the gorge. Their concerts are SO interactive! I've basically spent the past 15 minutes going through youtube videos from the concert and reliving it - I could watch them daily.

Sunday on the way home we stopped at Lake Cle Elum which is one of our favorite little stops everytime we drive over the mountains. It's SO quiet and peaceful. We'd love to buy property in Cle Elum and just pitch a tent.
More updates on Stella to come, for now I'm going to go back to watching videos from this weekend.

Busy with all things summer

It's so great having both spouses have summer vacation off! We're all having ridiculous amounts of fun. Here's a little picture diary of just SOME of the summer activities we've been enjoying:

Hanging out with Dad in the monster truck.

Cooling off in the pool and/or sprinkler.

Sidewalk chalk.

Mama's little helper.

Our new t-ball/bat.

Ice cream cones.

You can't see them very well, but I made hanging candle holders out of shakers from the $ store to go above our patio table. Seriously ups the cozy factor!

Helping a friend with decorations for her blow - out (and by that I mean wedding)

Picking strawberries...

to make 2 batches of freezer jam and to freeze a ton for smoothies!

Picnic at the beach. (one of my personal favorites)

4th of July view from my aunt and uncles deck

Enjoying the show with Nona. I wasn't sure how she'd do but she LOVED them! She kept clapping and saying, "YAY" and "more"

I'm thinking that posts are going to be pretty infrequent - I just can't seem to bring myself to spend the time doing it with so many other things calling me!